Local Fisticuffs

"Man 1: Hey you, let's fight.
Man 2: Them's fightin' words!"
-The Simpsons

Roby Brock's article about the ever-daunting task of picking which unlucky soul will have to run against Gov. Mike Beebe in 2010 was enlightening. The writ outlining the fact that if the Republican Party of Arkansas wants to remain intact legally, they will have to put one of their lambs to slaughter was particularly interesting.

Basically, it means the mob will have their bloodbath.

But GOP head honcho Doyle Webb's musings about how people are "ready" and "willing" to be forced to step up to the plank- I mean plate was interesting as well. And maybe I'm reading to closely between lines that aren't really drawn, but his one-liner about the potential for the state's three congressional Democrats to draw opponents was particularly interesting.

I mean, isn't there enough blood being shed already?

You can ask my friend John Brummett about the ineptitude of the state's GOP. Take it with a grain of salt named David Sanders and you'll likely find the truth in the middle, but the truth is that the party can't swing much in Arkansas.

I hesitate to say 'of no fault of their own' but will stop short of saying quite that. I'm sure there is plenty that the party or former party leaders (cough, Huckabee, cough) could have done to help steady the ship, but the fact that Democrats have long managed and maintained this circus isn't really news so much as an understood axiom of Arkansas Politics: In any other region, they'd be Republicans, but in Arkansas, the Arkansas Democrat roams unfettered by national politics.

The only actual candidate who has voiced his candidacy for a delegate office, Senate-hopeful Kim Hendren, was a Democrat for years, and is now an ardent Republican. Like Brummett said: Same book, different cover. That applies to more than just a Kim Hendren.

The candidates will come. They have to. But what can they possibly do to win?

Nobody will likely touch Marion Berry. He's got the farmers in his corner and is a founding Blue Dog. There's some sect of more liberal Democrats running ads against Berry, but anyone in their right mind can see that's just foolhardy. Mike Ross is a young buck, comparatively, but still a powerful incumbent, but other than that I don't know much about him. He's got a funny haircut. I see him being the most "vulnerable," to use that word loosely, only because I know the others are pretty much bulletproof.

Vic Snyder has everything a politician could want on a resume: Veteran, doctor, lawyer, state legislator, experienced national legislator. He usually garners tepid poll numbers (likely due to the conservative rural perimeter surrounding Pulaski County), but always comes through and wins by the most vast of margins. The only struggle he'll have concerning re-election is whether or not the new triplets will affect his intentions of staying in office, as some often unfoundedly speculate. I haven't heard any intentions of a retirement from the good doctor.

I guess we should look at John Boozman, to keep things fair, but he is a Republican in friendly, friendly NWA waters. As political analyst Bill Vickery said, "He is undefeatable in that district."

There are two tactics opposition can take: Strike weaknesses or put forth a more popular candidate. The former seems nearly impossible as the resume's of these candidates are all quite lofty.

In the early 90's, Arkansas Men's basketball was visited by and were subsequently thumped by the University of Las Vegas. UNLV's biggest and baddest player, Larry Johnson, after nearly shattering the rim and flexing in Todd Day's face, sauntered over to Coach Nolan Richardson and said not-so-politely, "Coach. You need to get you some men."

The same is true for the Arkansas GOP, although gender isn't a prerequisite: They need to get some playmakers. The message is similar to the Democrats. Their members are strong. They need to get stronger people. And fast.