Professional Journalists Set to Convene, Shrug Awkwardly About New Media

The rest of the blogosphere seems to be all about this regional gathering of the Society of Professional Journalists scheduled for this weekend.

Rutherford expectedly whined about an inability to Twitter about the event in his absence, which brought up his first good point of the week: Some may be unable to attend the event to hear Kinkade and Conan wax eloquently about New Media, or to hear me ramble incoherently about the magic boxes that control them there interwebs.

So here's a preview, what literally half-dozens of people will line up to hear us say:

"I don't know." (This declarative statement will then be a variance of shrugging, nervous glances, and stuttered, empty platitudes about how "interesting the subject is")

That's the God's honest truth. Nobody knows how this New vs. Old Media thing is going to play out. If I know the answer to this question, you'd never hear from me again on this medium, because I'd be too filthy stinking rich, driving fast cars and trying on fly suits.

I really think that before we figure this level-kajillion-Sudoku enigma out, we're going to have to take several steps back, deep into the recesses of journalistic philosophy and rediscover what it means to be someone who delivers news.

I think we — naturally and unashamedly and with good reason — look at how to monetize the market the way our predecessors monetized newspapers. And it's much more complex. This isn't like figuring out how to fit a square peg in a round hole; It's more like figuring out how to throw a monster truck into a blender to make a banana daiquiri.

I think once we step back and look at the services the news industry has and does offer, I think we'll be able to make headway. I believe it can be done. They monetized music in the wake of the Napster crisis of aught-one, not that music and news are compatible in business models.

One of the wisest sages of our time — Conan O'Brien, of course — offered a segment on the subject on his feature "Glass Half Empty, Glass Half Full." Here's that, paraphrased:

"Half-Empty: The print media business is hemorrhaging money in the wake of the internet and New Media, and struggling to find a way to make money off of it.
Half-Full: Hey, it worked for porn!"

It's that sort of Can-Do attitude that's going to get the media business back on track. Innovation is the life force behind the capitalist markets to which we all subscribe.

Somebody's got that idea right now between their ears. I hope they're my friend. Or better yet, me.

You can never have too many fly suits.