Obama to Cross Border for Bacon and Flapjacks

The Washington Post says President Obama is headed north to meet with the Kanucki ringleader, Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

This is the first trip to a foreign land for our new executive. The roads will be scary, the dialect will be nearly unintelligible, and the climate will be frightful. Thankfully, Obama will have translators and Canadian Sherpas there to guide his every step.

But with the eyes of the world watching our historic president diplomating on foreign soil, it will be important to put a powerful foot forward. Many aides are suggesting that Obama walk right past Harper and punch the biggest bodyguard he can find right in the neck.

Actually, Obama aides say that the majority of the discussion will be about assuring trades and general good relations with the Maple Nation. Within the encyclopedia of pages within the stimulus bill, provisions and possible tax exemptions will be made to companies that "Buy American," helping to boost revenue and the economy. Apparently, Canada didn't appreciate such a clause, saying that it would hurt the trade relations between the U.S. and them.

What we actually trade with them that isn't already ours, they didn't say, but the price of Labatt Blue and Canadian Bacon pizzas, even the ones with pineapple, have skyrocketed in the past few days following the passing of the stimulus by Congress.

Anyway, that's where Obama is today, and let's hope Obama can do some good work, because let's face it: We need Canada as much as they need u-...sorry, I couldn't say that with a straight face.