Thursday, January 29, 2009

BlagOusted: To Pick Up Office Belongings Later, Has No Friends


"So yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and get out of here, there is a back door, right?...Yeah, Terry, just put all that stuff in one of those paper crates and ship 'em to the Misses." - Rod the Retahd Blagojevich



Impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich was removed from office forcibly and violently today in a spectacle that many called "The Most Terrific and Vicious Physical Beating of All-Mankind."

Blagojevich rambled incoherently for an hour and a half prior to the beating. He then was informed that he had absolutely no friends whatsoever, being ousted 59 - 0, with constituents' taunting emails and text messages being scrolled across a projected screen.

Blagojevich was left to get the remaining Far Side desk calenders and paperweights from his office at a later date, and then was pumbled by Chicago gangsters "Moose" and "Rocco."

3 comments:

  1. I already told you this but Blago is a genius.

    The feds had everything on him, he was getting impeached either way.

    1. He could lay low and avoid the media, get impeached and sail off into the sunset.

    Or....

    2. He could go out in a hail of gunfire, gaining media attention every day. He still wants to clear his name. That's code for, I'm getting a book deal, I'm going to air Illinois' dirty laundry, I'll go on more talk shows, and I'll make a buck off of my little fuck up.

    Sure he looks like a cabbage patch, but at least he's going to make some skrilla off of his dumbassery.

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