Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sen. Dorgan Launches New Media Campaign 15 Months Before State Has Internet Capability

BISMARCK, N.D. -- In a public relations snafu, Sen. Byron L. Dorgan, D-N.D., and his staff had created, updated and publicised a facebook and twitter account, as well as a regularly updated blog, 15 months prior to the expected arrival of the internet to North Dakota.

The internet has been slated to be available to North Dakotans in December of 2010 or later. Dorgan's office says it "just plain forgot" the state was lacking the social utility, and "wanted to keep up with everyone else."

"Dag nab it, I don't understand these things to begin with," said Dorgan from Washington. "Everyone says you gotta do these things, so I did it. I just figured out how to send a fax, now I gotta type on my phone? Christ."

The senator's staff - none of whom are from North Dakota - say they never knew in the first place forgot as well.

"I mean, we've never had to go there. You pretty much have to drive, there aren't really airports, just big fields with way too many rocks," said 23-year-old senior press manager Ginger Franklin, who graduated from Florida State University in May.

Backlash is expected to be fierce by the time news of the mishap gets back to North Dakota, which is expected to be somewhere near November of 2010, as it will travel almost entirely by word-of-mouth and morse code.

8 comments:

  1. Funny, yes. But we NoDakers take our state seriously. However, it's too cold up here and we don't have any trees to tie anyone to, so we'll just have to find another way to make you squeal like a pig. Maybe your mama, er, your sister can help. Wanna make you feel at home, after all.

    At least you got Bismarck spelled right. And in the right state. *hands you a hayseed*

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  2. Zack, This is Mandeep, I am a friend of Gungadin, he is two cubicles down from me in the third row. We received a new client today, I am to be blog-flaming for one of your GOP Senate candidates, a different one than Gunga has. So please post some more stuff on Baker, Conrad, Lincoln, Cotton, Coldman (my favorite, looks like my english teacher), Cox, Drown, Fred, Frenchy, etc. I need to feed my family, I get paid by the word.

    Mandeep from Bangladesh.

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  3. Zack, Mandeep here, no more talk from you? What is up man, I have to feed my family? Also why do you have the smooth supple buttocks of a little boy displayed on your website. Are you telling us something? And whose hand is that touching him? Don't ask, don't tell works in blogsphere too I am guessing.

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  4. Zack? Mandeep again, you ok, no hear long time from you. Get better soon.

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  5. Zack?
    Mandeep, call me!

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  6. Mandeep, I think he broke under pressure and was hired by the Drownies. Expect to read some of his material on www.trevordrown.com

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  7. Welcome back Zack!
    Mandeep

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  8. strange site,, we from ND have had internet access soon after Al Gore invented it.

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