Showing posts with label and that's all she wrote. Show all posts
Showing posts with label and that's all she wrote. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sen. Dorgan Launches New Media Campaign 15 Months Before State Has Internet Capability

BISMARCK, N.D. -- In a public relations snafu, Sen. Byron L. Dorgan, D-N.D., and his staff had created, updated and publicised a facebook and twitter account, as well as a regularly updated blog, 15 months prior to the expected arrival of the internet to North Dakota.

The internet has been slated to be available to North Dakotans in December of 2010 or later. Dorgan's office says it "just plain forgot" the state was lacking the social utility, and "wanted to keep up with everyone else."

"Dag nab it, I don't understand these things to begin with," said Dorgan from Washington. "Everyone says you gotta do these things, so I did it. I just figured out how to send a fax, now I gotta type on my phone? Christ."

The senator's staff - none of whom are from North Dakota - say they never knew in the first place forgot as well.

"I mean, we've never had to go there. You pretty much have to drive, there aren't really airports, just big fields with way too many rocks," said 23-year-old senior press manager Ginger Franklin, who graduated from Florida State University in May.

Backlash is expected to be fierce by the time news of the mishap gets back to North Dakota, which is expected to be somewhere near November of 2010, as it will travel almost entirely by word-of-mouth and morse code.

Monday, August 3, 2009

What In God's Name Is This 'Tim Griffin' Critter Up To?

It broke over my buddy David Sanders' tweets last week. He said the former-Senate-maybe, and former U.S. Attorney Tim Griffin had just got back from D.C. and was doing some thinking about running against that Mike "Shelmet" Ross, who currently happens to be probably one of the more powerful Congressmen in House right now.

The ever-sneaky Jason Tolbert picked up on an exchange between Jake Trapper of ABC, in which it seems Trapper had been picking up what Griffin had been laying down.

Griffin, raised in Magnolia but currently wheeling and dealing in Little Rock, says he's hearing from a lot of unhappy people in the fourth district. Being the benevolent and heroic leader of hope, charity and mercy he is, Griffin seems to be pondering a Crusade to alleviate the sorrows and famine of the 4th district against Mike Longshanks Ross.

Riiight.

Not saying anything about Ross or Griffin or anything like that, but let's take a gander at some facts and some history, shall we?

Mike Ross' Stick is Huge: President Obama, who every Arkansas delegate with whom I have spoken says is more liberal than themselves, is mighty popular and is aiming for some of that reform. Mike "Monkeywrench" Ross, leading the Blue Dog Democrats in the House on Health Care, said "Halt" and it was so.

The national media chalked it up to Harry Potterisms, like The Congressman Who Lived after standing up to Obama, not that Obama is anything like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but you know what I mean. Obama's powerful.

Needless to say, in a state that overwhelming shot Obama down at the polls, any standing up to Obama, over matters large and small, is duly noted by the voters. This isn't even the first time Ross has gone on record against the progressive agenda in the Legislative Branch. Ross made a lot of now forgotten noise over cap-and-trade legislation that went through his committee earlier in the session, voting squarely no, and telling me personally, that he thought the President, in this case, was and is wrong.

Not to mention that all of Arkansas' congressional delegates are comfortable and cozily ensconced in their respective district. Ross is sitting pretty, and I think a lot of people are aware of that.

Tim Griffin? Who?: Tim Griffin as a candidate is puzzling to me. He obviously is well-connected to a bevy of deep-pocketed friends in D.C. and elsewhere, which is absolutely clutch in a national election. But outside of that, as well as some conservative credentials that are also key in Arkansas, I'm not sure that Tim Griffin couldn't kick me in the face while holding hands with my mother without me going, "Who was that guy?"

In an election, you need a name, too. I will give him this, outside of being a U.S. Attorney, he has done pretty well getting his name out there, primarily by doing some saber-rattling about Blanche Lincoln. In political circles, people know Tim Griffin. But the walls can be pretty thick and insulated in those political circles. I'm not sure that the general public is too aware of his presence.

But what am I saying? He's been hearing from the people of the fourth.

Tim Griffin? No, really, who is he? What's he doing here?: Getting back to not so much about who Griffin is, but what exactly he's doing. As far as I know, Tim Griffin has no elected experience. He's a former opposition researcher, political strategist, and U.S. Attorney. I don't think any of those positions have been put to votes.

But like I said earlier, his noteworthy past thus far has been talking down Blanche Lincoln since December. He was the first and definitely the most vocal potential opponent against the Democratic Senator, whose tepid polling numbers are spelling a potentially tough re-election.

But as the months wore on, people like Kim Hendren jumping in the race before self-detonating, and a litany of others throwing their hat into the ring, with nary a peep from Griffin.

Many suspect that he had no real intention of running against Lincoln. Rather, he just wanted to keep her in check, make sure she voted conservatively on issues like card check, and basically keep her on the defensive by moving her re-election campaign up about six or eight months.

I'm not saying it's the case now, I'm just saying it might be, that Griffin & Co. is doing the same with Ross: They recognize a long-time and loyal Democrat, Ross, with a propensity to vote conservatively, and are aiming a making sure he stays that way, nervous of a Republican backlash in conservative Arkansas.

Griffin, who certainly has a political background, may lack the political C.V. to stand up against a strong candidate like Ross. But maybe that's not what he wants to do in the first place.

At the very least, he'll need a much more dominate follicle arrangement to compete with Ross.

Friday, July 31, 2009

And In Case I Don't See You, Little Rock

Break-Up Sweatpants
Michael & Michael Have IssuesWed 10:30pm / 9:30c
www.comedycentral.com
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games
Good afternoon, good evening and good night. I know you'll be heartbroken, but with the advances in technology, really, what's the difference? Just get some great sweatpants, cry it out over the weekend, and by Monday you'll be good as new. It's been real.